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Is there a whiner on your team? Whiners focus on the negative, thrive on complaining and manipulate those around them. Research indicates that exposure to non-stop negativity can damage productivity! If you can’t walk away easily, Phil Cooke https://philcooke.com offers 5 tips on dealing with whiners at work. Please Like, Favorite and Share this video! Get my new book: Maximize Your Influence – How to Make Digital Media Work for Your Church, Your Ministry, and You https://influencematters.com Subscribe to My YouTube Channel and Get More Great Advice https://www.youtube.com/c/philcookeofficial?sub_confirmation=1 New episodes are uploaded every other Wednesday. Make sure to Subscribe and hit the Notification bell to be notified when they go live. Prefer audio? Listen to my Podcast here: https://apple.co/2XbMgDL *Helping leaders navigate their calling and career in today’s distracted media-driven culture* Do you have a message or story the world needs to hear? As a Hollywood producer and media consultant, I offer advice for leaders and creatives each week on creative leadership, digital media, branding and marketing strategies, film and TV production – and the faith to take you from where you are to where you want to be in your career. Follow me: Twitter https://twitter.com/philcooke Facebook https://www.facebook.com/philcookepage/ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/philcooke/ Podcast https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/philcookes-podcast/id1439369056 Find out about Cooke Media Group here: https://www.cookemediagroup.com Other Great Resources: Sign up for my blog and get a free eBook at https://www.philcooke.com *More About This Episode* How to Deal with Whiners at Work https://www.philcooke.com/how-to-deal-with-the-whiners-on-your-team/ Most creative teams are going to have at least one member who’s a whiner. Whiners focus on the negative, and thrive on complaining – often about the most insignificant things you can imagine. According to the Wall Street Journal, research indicates that productivity can be damaged by working alongside a chronic complainer. Exposure to non-stop negativity can disrupt learning, memory, attention, and judgement. The problem is more widespread than you think, because in many cases, it’s become so commonplace that we don’t even notice anymore. If you’re a leader, you can confront them, but if you’re a co-worker, it’s much more difficult. So if you can’t walk away easily, here’s some key techniques for dealing with a whiner: 1) Distance yourself from a whiner. Move your desk and if possible, change your office. Just the geographic change can make a significant difference. Most of the time, whiners vent on who’s nearby, so don’t be an easy target. 2) Switch the conversation. Ask them opposite questions, like, What’s working? What’s going well? Turn the talk to good things about the company or project, and you can often derail the whiner. 3) Put a whiner on the spot. Ask them what they intend to do about the problem. Don’t be a jerk but be direct. Agree with them that what they’re whining about is a real problem, but something has to be done. What do they suggest? That’s usually enough to stop the whiner in his or her tracks. 4) Let them know you’re not interested. Once they hit a brick wall enough times, they’ll look for someone else. So if nothing else works, get in their face. Again, don’t be rude, but be honest. Tell them you don’t think being negative will solve the problem, and when they have another idea, then you’ll listen. 5) Leaders: Schedule times to vent. If you can book the occasional meeting where employees have a designated time to complain (and be listened to), this will often get it out of their system. Employees do have challenges, and as leaders we too often don’t take it seriously. Just the act of listening can make a huge difference. Enough positive employees can overwhelm the negative, so teach your team the power of engaging the negative with positive responses, and suddenly the futility of just complaining will become very clear.

In this video I’ll be talking about I will be talking about how to get out of the victim mindset. I’m going to give you 5 ways to recognize whether you have this mindset and 5 solutions to break out of the victim mindset. Setbacks, disappointments and hurts are part of the uncertainty of life. How you respond to these setbacks determines how satisfied you will be with your life. You can’t control your circumstances, but you can control your response to them. How do you know if you’re wallowing in victimization? Here are 5 ways to recognize it. 1. Most things have a negative tone to them. 2. You ask yourself “why” a lot. 3. You mull over things - a lot (this is called ruminating). 4. You don’t think very highly of yourself. You are your own worst critic. 5. Your first emotion is anger and you are often resentful of other people’s gains. Here are 5 solutions to break out of this way of thinking. 1. Build your confidence by creating small achievable goals. 2. Turn your attention to giving to others. This helps you overcome neediness. 3. Make a gratitude list. When you are in victim mode, you focus more on what you don’t have. 4. Get closure on your past hurts. 5. Take ownership of your decisions. No one can make you feel a certain way without you allowing it. WANT TO START IN THERAPY? Here’s a convenient and affordable option https://Betterhelp.com/drmarks For a monthly fee, you get a REAL licensed therapist with whom you can meet weekly by phone, video or chat. You can also send daily messages. You have access to webinars on various topics. The unlimited texting feature allows you to type out your concerns or questions and get a well thought out response from your therapist. Some of them will help you set goals, give you worksheets, etc. If you use this link you will get a 10% discount on your first month. https://betterhelp.com/drmarks This is an option I've researched. I get a referral commission if you sign up. Want to know more about mental health and self-improvement? On this channel I discuss topics such as bipolar disorder, major depression, anxiety disorders, attention deficit disorder (ADHD), relationships and personal development/self-improvement. I upload weekly. If you don’t want to miss a video, click here to subscribe. https://goo.gl/DFfT33 Disclaimer: All of the information on this channel is for educational purposes and not intended to be specific/personal medical advice from me to you. Watching the videos or getting answers to comments/question, does not establish a doctor-patient relationship. If you have your own doctor, perhaps these videos can help prepare you for your discussion with your doctor.